Tuesday, January 12, 2010

starting over at 43

In one year I have gone from having a home, a husband, and a long term job. To going through a divorce, living a lone, and having a completely different job. Life is funny, when you think you might have it figured out it throws you a curve. I have been married for the last nine years, it has not be easy . My husband has a mental illness, and it effects every part of our lives. The first three years were pretty good, but once my husband decided that he didn't need to take his medicine anymore it was very hard to cope with. I am not a angel either, and I should have dealt with things a whole lot different. But after coping for six more years, and praying, and hoping things will get better I decided to leave. It has been difficult on everyone involved, my husband doesn't understand that his failure to do what he needs to do has lead to the down fall of his marriage. I can't make him take responsibility, all I can do is take responsibility for my actions while we were together. I got my own place for the first time in ten years, it's all mine. I'm not sharing with anyone, I love it. I have a dog that was part of my old life, he helps with the lonely feeling that comes with getting divorced, and living alone. I started a brand new job I love it, I have never worked in a care home with three elderly ladies we lovely call the golden girls. If it had not been for my family and friends I don't know where I would be, I have also entered counseling, which has been wonderful for me. Right now I am trying to figure out what is next for me.